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I AM A MOSAIC OF EVERYONE I'VE EVER LOVED.

Humans are made up of others we've given our hearts to. We all trade little pieces of our love for new personality traits, with or without our knowledge or consent. We're galleries, with changing exhibitions, of beauty, pain, and pleasure depending on the chapter of life.


To be loved is to be known. But to love is to pick up parts of those we adore. It's to make an effort to enjoy whatever your partner is involved in. It's exploring the interests of whomever so that they feel known.


However, like the Egyptian room at The Met or the blue whale at the American Museum of Natural History, some things have been along for longer than I can remember.


I love the Buffalo Bills because my dad is a true fan. He's rooted for 'em since the 1970s and raised us as part of the Mafia.


Peanut showed me The Front Bottoms and Bayside during our junior year. She will always have a piece of my heart for the years of our friendship and for the music we shared.


I'll always have my nails painted because my G thinks it's the most appropriate for a lady and my dad thinks polish should either be all on or all off, chipped nails are unprofessional and unsightly.


We root for the Mets because my Shawnee was a huge fan. She would listen to them via her radio almost daily during the season for decades.


I've committed to silver because my mom wears silver...except when Kohl's Cash is about to expire and gold is on sale.


I love to rave because I've always shared that experience with my grad school best friend, Bri. And every beep-bop song reminds me of our nights sharing a too-small dorm room and laughing in her 2004 gold Accord on the way to Williamsburg.


Although not someone I've loved, but..I don't curse (often) because of Elliot on Scrubs. Additionally, I often use "frick" because of her.


I thrift because my mom always has. We had some thrifty Christmas presents as kids, aka my Barbie Dream House. It was about getting the same at a value cost and not contributing to waste. I've adopted this heavily.


I'll touch a plane door during boarding because Bri says that it's good luck.


I've supported the Islanders because my first high school boyfriend was a fan and took me to more than a few games which included the last game at The (old) Barn in 2015.


I love park benches because of the one specific one outside of Wagner College's mail room. "As big as the sky" was adored on a bench by Cunard Hall and it's a phrase that I've adopted to my vocabulary instead of "I love you".


I like Hamilton because well, I do but I've fixated on it because my best friend Mikey also loves it. And I like having that in common.


I used to make "egg in a frame" or as Grandpa Larry called it, "toast 'n egg" because it was the first meal that my G perfected for her new husband.


I'm my dad's daughter because I can jerry-rig a lot and I'm my mother's daughter because I believe Duct Tape can fix everything.


I'm their daughter because I love raffles and Chinese auctions, I love being on time, I read every word of every contract I've had to sign.


I'm their daughter because I believe that EVERYTHING is negotiable and there's only shame in NOT asking the questions.


I collect shot glasses because my sister collected key chains and I didn't want to be left out of having a shelf of trinkets too.


I have insane pride in being Irish because my Uncle Ken, and his style choices, did.


I believe that strangers are inherently good people, and when I travel, that everyone is a potential friend because my Uncle Paul believed that to be true.


I'll always use my blinker, even when turning in the driveway because my G does so.


I've raised my feet on every drive over a draw bridge since 2003 because my Granny Lulu said that you should, and make a wish when you cross over the grates.


I love wearing collars on my shirts, dresses, rompers, etc. because my dad never leaves the house without being in a dress shirt or polo. He says you never know who you could run into so it's always best to be dressed for that chance.


I could go on, and on, about what pieces I've adopted from other humans who have come and gone from my life. I could say that I've left some parts of myself in others, but I'm not entirely sure that's true. I'm happy to be loved...and molded due to it. I'm happy to carry pieces of these humans with me and I can only be lucky enough to pass these niche traits on to someone via my love or time. I'm happy to be a mosaic of everyone I have ever loved.













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