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Writer's pictureClare Allen

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOMMA PATTY

Dear Momma,


Happy 6* th? nd? rd? Birthday. Happy 60-shhhh Birthday. You've circled the sun half a dozen turns but on your birthday, you're the Center of the Universe.


On your birthday, and like most holidays, you ask for "three well-behaved children". You've never once gotten this. But you've raised three well-rounded, well-adjusted, and 99% self-sufficient souls. However, there will always be 1% (and usually more) that still need our mommy.


Thank you for everything you've done for us, to us, because of us, and whatever else that may go unrecognized.


Thank you for letting us play in the mud, and eat worms as kids. Thank you for challenging our immune systems and teaching us about it through Osmosis Jones. Thank you for keeping a basement full of thrifted toys and for constantly using Duct Tape to fix our Barbie convertible. Thank you for listening to Jammin' in Jamacia on repeat during the drives to and from the Bronx Zoo on Member Wednesdays.


Thank you for being a tough a** as we entered our preteen years but always having cupcakes for us after school. Thank you for being just as confused about math homework as we were. And for driving to Staples the night before a science project is due because of course, I didn't ask for the required poster board until that evening.


Thank you for being the mom who was both admired and feared by my friends. Thank you for being the parent that if I was allowed "then it must be okay for my kid to go too". Thank you for coming to my field hockey games, and for letting me quit basketball. And thank you for not following through on your boarding school threats.


Thank you for teaching me the value of a dollar through mental tips. Thank you for teaching me how to tip for service through tricks. And for believing Kohl's Cash is a form of currency. Thank you for reminding us that college is more than just classes and believing my first semester 2.7 GPA could go up an entire point in time for graduation. Thank you for being at every ceremony in college colors and nail polish to match. Thank you for the years of "go get 'em" that turned into offer letters, raises, accolades, and other awards.


And now, thank you for knowing when my cries are that of a wolf and when they need a two-hour train ride back home. Thank you for always being a mom, and now a friend. Thank you for giving me the gift of delivering a very blunt two cents, appreciation, and retorts in dry humor, and the love for a thrifting hunt. Thank you for being my mom.


Now...STICK A CANDLE IN IT! And don't waste your wish on those well-behaved children.


As big as the sky,

Clare

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